My Dear Shepherds,
Not long ago I sat next to a 20-year-old guy from our church who told me a rugged story of growing up with a dad who was incarcerated and a mother who was dangerously unstable. He’d been in a string of foster homes. “So you don’t have grandparents or anything?” I asked. “No,” he replied, “No one.” “Well, now you have,” I said. “I’ll be your grandpa.” Then I thought, What did I just commit myself too!? I didn’t even talk to my wife. What if I disappoint him too?
When Paul described his pastoral ministry among the Thessalonians he likened himself both to a nursing mother and a father. It’s a tall order.
You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children , encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory. (1 Thess. 2:10-12)
Any sensible pastor should be skittish about being held up as the example of godliness. But our people need examples. As important as our theology and biblical exposition are, these verses emphasize that the evidence of our godliness is in the fatherly way we speak into the lives of each and every person entrusted to us.
Both dads and moms challenge their children but there is often something distinct about the weight of a father’s words, as in, “My father always used to say ….” It’s not hard to imagine Paul having a strong fatherly presence but it may be a more difficult identity for those whose own fathers were poor models, for women who are in leadership, and for young pastors.
Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young [or for any other reason], but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Tim. 4:12)
Paul emphasized here that his work among them was personal: “with each of you.” That’s the great advantage that pastors of smaller congregations have—we can be so much more personal in fathering our people.
Paul used three speaking descriptors here:
Encouraging is the along-side word Jesus used to describe Holy Spirit. Our words, the timing and tone prompted by the Spirit, can bring Jesus close.
Comforting has the idea of cheering on or consoling, as in, “encourage the disheartened” (5:14). Our words shaped by Scripture are medicine or a hand on their shoulder.
Urging you to live lives worthy of God …” carries a sense of fatherly authority, like the pastor who says, “That is not how we treat each other in this family,” or “I believe you’re the person to lead us in this challenge.”
I don’t have to tell you how many people in our congregations are desperate for a godly father figure. They don’t look for someone who is perfect, and certainly not someone who is authoritarian. They need someone who loves Christ, is authentic, and who steps into their lives to speak for the Lord. Like our calling as shepherds, this fatherly manner doesn’t have to come naturally to us; it is God-given.
My father died in 1986 and I have only one recording of his voice. It was from my ordination service when I’d asked him to read Proverbs 3. You can imagine how poignant it is for me now to hear my dad’s voice reading, “My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart.” That’s what we pastors do.
